It’s Not All About Gender – Book Review

So as I’ve been studying relationships, learning about food groups and planets, I sometimes find myself in the wrong food group or planet. I’ll think, that describes my husband, not me. We’re still opposite/complements just not in all the stereotypical ways. 

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To say that men are not artistic or do not express emotion denies the beautiful music, art and poetry created by males. And they weren’t all gay. To imply that these men are effeminate is ridiculous. I kept thinking to myself, it has to be more than gender differences, some of this boils down to personality.

Helen Fisher agrees with me. In her book Why Him? Why Her? she expounds on her personality theory. She believes personality doesn’t spring from the date of our birth or nine points in a circle, but rather from the chemical balance in our brains. This makes sense to me. We certainly know how hormones can affect us, turning sweet, gentle souls into raving maniacs for brief periods of time. It also explains why we may have dominant traits, but we can see traits from other personality types surface from time to time. Because we all have the four chemicals Fisher believes determine personality in varying levels.

Dopamine, serotonin, testosterone and estrogen. Just reading those four words, I could visualize the list of personality traits for each.

This is not a plug for transgender lifestyles. Because when I took her personality trait test I scored highest in the two generally associated with men, but let me assure you I have no desire to cross over. I like my heroes big, strong and MALE! And that doesn’t mean a man who scores highest in one or two of the personality types generally associated with women can’t be your dream hero – you’ve just lucked up, because rather than drag you by the hair to his cave, he will probably romance you all the days of your life.

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Since this book resonated so strongly with me, I’ve chosen to use it as the basis to discuss four personality types and their best matches. Keep in mind that personality is just one component of what makes you tick. Others would include gender, birth order and life experiences. All of these unite to make you a unique individual specifically designed for your special hero.

The one caveat I would offer regarding this book is her strong affinity for evolution and survival of the fittest. I simply substituted those assertions with our loving Creator God.