Thursday, December 19, 2019

The Builder

Are you drawn to Steady Freddie? A modest, reliable family man? The guy who quietly repairs the widow’s porch, volunteers at the food bank and serves as a deacon in your church?

If so, chances are you never back-talked your teachers or took sick leave unless you were at death’s door. You’ve probably already created an Excel spreadsheet for the party you’re having next month.

You and Freddie are Builders, and you’ll make a great team. He’s probably an administrator in the military or possibly an accountant. You’re on the board of several charities, always looking for ways to give back to the community. Your children will be well-mannered; your home a safe haven of efficiency.

What could possibly go wrong?

According to Helen Fisher’s book Why Him? Why Her? the test group contained 28.6 percent Builders, however, there were fewer Builder men than Builder women, so competition for Freddie will be fierce.

Builders find routines comforting and these repetitive actions increase serotonin levels. Your even keel is the product of serotonin, however, an imbalance can lead to obsessive compulsive disorders including hoarding.

Every coin has two sides so look long and hard at your potential hero. Beware of morality that borders on legalism. Don’t let loyalty to his mother trump his responsibility to you.

In order to be his heroine, guard against becoming hypercritical--let him fold the towels the “wrong” way. Don’t hold his faults up as worse than your own and keep your eyes on the future. Wallowing in past regrets or pessimistic thoughts is a romance-killer.